A Bridge of Light
by FlyingFree910
Summary: Jac is alone with only a song and her thoughts, what decision can she come to about her relationship with Jonny?


**_Heard this song and an idea came to me.  
I've not done a fanfic before with a song involved but I had a spot of inspiration. All credit to P!NK for creating this song.  
I hope you like it._**

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**_Just when you think  
Hope is lost,  
And giving up  
Is all you got,  
And blue turns black,  
Your confidence is cracked,  
There seems no turning back from here_**

They always say that actions speak louder than words but I think in this case, this saying doesn't even compare to how I feel. Does me slapping Jonny constitute as my deepest feelings? Of course not, I believe in this case, both stand tall. My actions were caused by that of Jonny's words, his deepest feelings. And feelings they were, raw emotion of a man suffering too much at the hands of the woman he loves. I never wanted any of this, but I chose not to stop it. My heart became a magnet, drawn in by the warmth and care of a Scottish man and I embraced it. But it's my own fault now, there seems no turning back from here, from the dark hole which I have fallen into. I'm a coward and that's that. A coward for not standing up and telling him, the truth must out but how? How can the truth fall from my lips when the outcome is so uncertain? If I breathe the truth, my future is no longer in my hands. It will be his decision whether to stay or go and the reality is I'm too scared to find out.

**_Sometimes there isn't an obvious explanation  
Why the holiest hearts can feel the strongest palpitations_**

_**That's when you can build a bridge of light,**_  
_**That's what turns the wrong so right**_  
_**That's when you can't give up the fight**_

I can't give up can I? Crawl under a rock and forget, because it will always be there. Strong and blinding, bright in my life but any light can be darkened to let the devil through so you must channel all you have to block it. Build a bridge of light to obliterate the darkness that can cause so much trouble.

**_That's when love turns night time into day,  
That's when loneliness goes away,  
That's why you gotta be strong tonight,  
Only love can build us a bridge of light_**

Strong. I've always seemed strong in the eyes of those around me but all that is armour. A shell all around my exterior to protect what matters the most. My heart. I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon, hearts are my specialty except my own. Only I can feel the holes that have been burnt through the muscle, the pain that lingers all day through. But hearts can be mended. Each new step is a hole erased but each new step without the man I love is a hole created. I must choose, choose to leave my heart into the care of another. Let them take charge of its protection buts that's a choice I need to decide.

**_When your feet are made of stone  
And you're convinced that you're all alone  
Look at the stars instead of the dark  
You'll find your heart shines like the sun_**

Alone is how I feel now, alone sitting in my flat, alone sleeping in my bed, alone for the rest of my life. But I have a choice, a choice in everything. If I choose to open up my heart, express my deepest feelings will the stone fall away? Will I sprout the wings of freedom and feel alive for the first time in my life. Alive and together. Alive and happy. I must look into the light, the light of love and it will build a bridge for me to continue with life.

**_Let's not let our anger get us lost  
And the need to be right comes with way too high a cost_**

**_That's when love can build a bridge of light  
That's what turns the wrong so right  
That's when you know it's worth the fight_**

Our anger is at the forefront of our relationship. Harsh words cut through the damaged bulletproof armour caused by me. The anger overtakes the words which should be spoken, the desperate need for the right words to cut through the ice of anger. But those words can cause the most damage, the truth is needed but the truth can hurt even more than the false negatives. But the truth can be the building the blocks, the building blocks of a bridge which will lead love. Love. The strongest word in the world, the word which can cause the most damage. What's a childhood when you grow up without love? It creates the pathway for your future but the pathway can change to that of hope and glory when one person in the world loves you more than themselves.

**_That's when love turns night time into day  
That's when loneliness goes away,  
That's why you gotta be strong tonight  
'Cause only love can build us a bridge of light_**

_**Deep breath, take it on the chin**_  
_**But don't forget to let the love back in**_

Swallow up your pride and stand up tall and fierce, let the façade fall and let all emotions out. Be an open book and let him guide you. His love will guide over the dark and into the bright light of a future so full. Full of everything you have ever wanted in life, but will the cost stall him. The cost of a childless future but I must take a deep breath and whatever happens, take it on the chin. The hardest decision is when to tell, because if not spoken and left hidden in the darkness it will consume all thoughts and emotions and leaves a shell behind. But if told, a weight will be lifted and new memories created from the future that will continue from the guidance of love.

**_That's when love can build a bridge of light  
That's what turns the wrong so right  
That's when you can't give up the fight_**

**_And that's when love turns night time into day,  
That's when loneliness goes away  
That's why you gotta be strong tonight  
'Cause only love can build us a bridge of light_**

I must tell because I cannot let it consume me, I must tell and let my pride sink below the surface. I must tell the man I love all the secrets which I keep within. Our love together, combined can build us a bridge of light.

**_Only love can build us a bridge of light..._**

_**Of light...**_  
_**Of light...**_

A light to guide our future together.

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_**Please review and let me know your thoughts.**_


End file.
